Simply Nirvana

The Choice Is Ours Now

by Melissa Etheridge
Oscar and Grammy Award-Winning Singer/Songwriter

Posted December 22, 2008

This is a message for my brothers and sisters who have fought so long and so hard for gay rights and liberty. We have spent a long time climbing up this mountain, looking at the impossible, changing a thousand year-old paradigm. We have asked for the right to love the human of our choice, and to be protected equally under the laws of this great country. The road at times has been so bloody, and so horrible, and so disheartening. From being blamed for 9/11 and Katrina, to hateful crimes committed against us, we are battle weary. We watched as our nation took a step in the right direction, against all odds and elected Barack Obama as our next leader. Then we were jerked back into the last century as we watched our rights taken away by prop 8 in California. Still sore and angry we felt another slap in the face as the man we helped get elected seemingly invited a gay-hater to address the world at his inauguration.

I hadn’t heard of Pastor Rick Warren before all of this. When I heard the news, in its neat little sound bite form that we are so accustomed to, it painted the picture for me. This Pastor Rick must surely be one hate spouting, money grabbing, bad hair televangelist like all the others. He probably has his own gay little secret bathroom stall somewhere, you know. One more hater working up his congregation to hate the gays, comparing us to pedophiles and those who commit incest, blah blah blah. Same ‘ole thing. Would I be boycotting the inauguration? Would we be marching again?

Well, I have to tell you my friends, the universe has a sense of humor and indeed works in mysterious ways. As I was winding down the promotion for my Christmas album I had one more stop last night. I’d agreed to play a song I’d written with my friend Salman Ahmed, a Sufi Muslim from Pakistan. The song is called “Ring The Bells,” and it’s a call for peace and unity in our world. We were going to perform our song for the Muslim Public Affairs Council, a group of Muslim Americans that tries to raise awareness in this country, and the world, about the majority of good, loving, Muslims. I was honored, considering some in the Muslim religion consider singing to be against God, while other Muslim countries have harsh penalties, even death for homosexuals. I felt it was a very brave gesture for them to make. I received a call the day before to inform me of the keynote speaker that night… Pastor Rick Warren. I was stunned. My fight or flight instinct took over, should I cancel? Then a calm voice inside me said, “Are you really about peace or not?”

I told my manager to reach out to Pastor Warren and say “In the spirit of unity I would like to talk to him.” They gave him my phone number. On the day of the conference I received a call from Pastor Rick, and before I could say anything, he told me what a fan he was. He had most of my albums from the very first one. What? This didn’t sound like a gay hater, much less a preacher. He explained in very thoughtful words that as a Christian he believed in equal rights for everyone. He believed every loving relationship should have equal protection. He struggled with proposition 8 because he didn’t want to see marriage redefined as anything other than between a man and a woman. He said he regretted his choice of words in his video message to his congregation about proposition 8 when he mentioned pedophiles and those who commit incest. He said that in no way, is that how he thought about gays. He invited me to his church, I invited him to my home to meet my wife and kids. He told me of his wife’s struggle with breast cancer just a year before mine.

When we met later that night, he entered the room with open arms and an open heart. We agreed to build bridges to the future.

Brothers and sisters the choice is ours now. We have the world’s attention. We have the capability to create change, awesome change in this world, but before we change minds we must change hearts. Sure, there are plenty of hateful people who will always hold on to their bigotry like a child to a blanket. But there are also good people out there, Christian and otherwise that are beginning to listen. They don’t hate us, they fear change. Maybe in our anger, as we consider marches and boycotts, perhaps we can consider stretching out our hands. Maybe instead of marching on his church, we can show up en mass and volunteer for one of the many organizations affiliated with his church that work for HIV/AIDS causes all around the world.

Maybe if they get to know us, they wont fear us.

I know, call me a dreamer, but I feel a new era is upon us.

I will be attending the inauguration with my family, and with hope in my heart. I know we are headed in the direction of marriage equality and equal protection for all families.

Happy Holidays my friends and a Happy New Year to you.

*****

“Every stuck tribe is a movement waiting to happen.” - Seth Godin

Go, Melissa!

January 03, 2009

Nature Or Nurture In Social Networking

by Stowe Boyd

We suffer from a collective delusion, in Western society, and it comes to the fore this time of year, like clockwork, as we make New Year’s resolutions. That delusion is that what we choose to do, how we live our lives, act, eat, and dream — who we are, essentially — is in our own control. That through will power and hard striving we can change our ways, largely independently of others.

However, more research is coming to light all the time that suggests that this simplistic notion of the individuality of our core being is just not true.

Recent research by Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler has demonstrated that emotions — specifically happiness — moves through social networks without conscious action (see Happiness Is An Emergent Property Of Social Networks), and other research has focused on how positive activities like giving up smoking are better accomplished in social groups, and that negative behaviors — like suicidal thoughts — are also transmitted like a virus through social connections: so-called “social contagion”.

One of the most interesting avenues of research is genetics: how much of our way of social networking is inherited, and how much is learned? New research is soon to be published that suggests it’s more innate than we might believe:

[from How your friends’ friends can affect your mood by Michael Bond]

[…] what shapes the architecture of our social networks and our position in them? Clearly, many factors contribute: where we live, where we work, family size, education, religion, income, our interests, and our tendency to gravitate towards people similar to us. New research by Christakis’s team, due to be published in the next few weeks, suggests there is also a strong genetic component. The study compared the social networks of identical and fraternal twins, and found that identical twins had significantly more similar social networks than fraternal twins, suggesting the structure of your social network is influenced by your genes. That may not sound remarkable, since personality traits such as gregariousness and shyness clearly play a role in determining how connected we are. But there is much more to it, says Christakis. “It’s not just about having a genetic predilection to be friends with a lot of people, it’s about having a genetic predilection to be friends with a lot of popular people. That’s mysterious: how could our genes determine our actual location in this socio-topological space?”

Answering that should help us understand more about the “collective intelligence” of social networks, which some researchers liken to the flocking of birds - the decision to quit smoking, for example, is no more an isolated move than the decision by a bird in a flock to fly to the left.

So, in the spirit of New Year’s resolutions, it seems that this indicates a necessary meta-level of resolution, one that sounds a lot like a nagging mother:

1. Resolve to surround yourself with people who are actively involved with activities and behaviors you want to do more of.

2. Avoid people who are involved with activities and behaviors you want to do less of.

3. When around people that you are consciously trying not to emulate, avoid ‘mirroring’ their talk, facial expressions, or interaction patterns: to not imprint on these people.

4. When around people you want to emulate, ‘mirror’ the small graces of social interaction — turns of phrase, facial expressions, hand gestures, etc. — so that you are helping along the integration of norms you admire. Try to think ‘like them’, by adopting their rhetoric and logical analysis. (Think of a teacher you admired in school, and how you might have adopted her thinking in discussing the class with others.)

5. When in contact with people who want to emulate you, be aware that you have this sort of impact on them. Do not be surprised to find them feeding back your thoughts, turns of phrase, terms, even facial expressions. Imitation is more that flattery: it’s social contagion, which is normal, inevitable, and generally positive.

Looks like we are who we hang with, for better or worse, and to the degree that we can control where we wind up networked we should try to move toward those that are doing the fun stuff.

For me, in 2009, that means more time with foodies, musicians, thinkers, and doers. I am going to hang with people trying to make the world a better place– at every scale — and shy away from those consumed with money, power, and fame for their own sake.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” I want to spend more time with the great minds of our time. Maybe something will rub off.

[via @panklam, @davidgurteen]

*******

So, I’ve gone through my Twitter followees and kept the authors whose Tweets I’m happy to read.

Monday, December 22, 2008 11:45 AM
From: “aristarchus munish”
To: “nirvana cable”

—–Inline Attachment Follows—–

Hallo,
There are moments and there are unforgettable moments! My life has been characterized by good and bad moments. And I thank God for all - all these are great moments! But my life in GCA is gradually turning into a series of unforgettable moments. Over the weekend I had reflections of my life but the most inviting reflection is, of course, the journey I started since the first GCA training at Methodist. This training led me straight into my greatest discovery of all times - the Power of our Minds! That discovery stands out and remains the most significant mark between the “old me” and the “new me”. And despite going through challenging times, just as I went through in my earlier days, the training led me from the all time “I CAN’T DO” mentality to “I CAN DO” attitude. I’m having a mind focusing on abudance instead. More refreshing is the sweet realization that by harnessing the power of your mind, you’ll create, a life filled with more passion, excitement, confidence and joy. For this, Nirvana, I appreciate your training and continued coaching with all the humility I command.

Every single encounter with you leaves a permanent mark in my life. All my interactions with you ignite a new spirit in me and leave me more hopeful. Of particular interest, though, is your capability to “see” beyond our cosmetic behaviors deep into the real thing. More than once I’ve witnessed you lead people (myself included) into looking to areas of their lives they would never like looking into, and the result?, profound discoveries and refreshing revelations leading to healing. Your expertise in “digging” into the “no-go-zones” of people’s lives for healing has always been an admiration to me. Yes, the art of paying attention to the under-the-table communication is one great key to transformation. And you are a guru for this. Our society, and the world over, must need this experience, for until we master it, the world will continue suffering. Ah, God works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform. He couldn’t let the world contiunue suffering!

I’ve realized that everyone has an area in their life they never want to visit. But I’m disturbed that little do they know that it’s through visiting and viewing this area of their lives that they will get unstuck. It is always uncomfortable to look into this area, thus a muscle, a new muscle has to be developed. My experience in looking into one of the areas of my life when we were at Karachuonyo remains a great victorious moment in my life. The process was very painful and at some time I felt embarassed. I felt like I could run away and hide myself. I felt tortured. I felt like I was stripped naked infront of people. Oh, I felt the world was crushing on me. But all in all I’m glad it helped me detach myself from a heavy burden that I’ve dragged around with me. It gave me access to a sweet freedom - to speak freely. That I no longer need to watch my boundaries for just I need to be who I am. This is a completely new life for me. It not only requires courage but unreserved willingness to go through this. That unforgettable moment that presented itself in ugly fashion has to translate into the redemption of the Kenyan communities from the suffocating grip of the culture of silence and mistrust.

As the year comes to an end, I must express my gratitudes to all the drivers of our course. From our generous partners to our commtted team, I say God bless you. Without this team, this day may never have been. I thank each and every one of them.

Regards.

Astonishing what happens when self-proclaimed “poor” people examine their thinking! Complete tear jerker when people realize their “I am poor” belief has kept them in bondage for decades.

Susie and I arrived Friday morning after a 14-hour journey due to flight delays. Nairobi is 5000 feet, same as Denver. The fatigue of traveling combined with the high altitude did us in. We slept most of the day and night only rallying enough to meet with our team leader, David Momanyi, for an hour in the afternoon.

Yesterday, we had a team meeting with five key team members of GCM/Global Community Movement’s (the name they gave themselves). GCM members are all in their twenties. I met David in December 2005 on a trip to Nairobi with my then 15-year-old daughter, Rebecca “Angel,” who had just been appointed the US Country Coordinator for the Youth Employment Summit/YES Campaign. David was one of about 30 youth we met at a YES Kenya planning meeting. Some days after the meeting, we met with a UN youth leader. (In Africa, youth is a distinction meaning all people aged 18-35.) The UN youth leader, Robert, brought David to the meeting. He reintroduced David to me as a potential leader. Who knew?

Last May, on my way to Tanzania for a TEDGlobal meeting, I stopped in Nairobi. With David’s leadership, we spontaneously convened a meeting of 60 youth. Thus began GCM. At one point in this initial meeting, I became absolutely frustrated with the Kenyan culture of silence. During my first visit to Kenya in 2000, I led a workshop for 300 slum dwellers to address the mindset of poverty. During a discussion, I said that it seemed when someone stepped on their toes, they didn’t say, “Ouch.” The culture was encapsulated when a man responded, “What toe?”

Kenya is a chronically passive culture. So during the first GCM meeting, when I could feel a conversation wanting to happen and instead silence reigned, I got creative. I put them into small groups and had them come up with skits to say what they wanted to say. Magic happened. When safely “hiding” behind a role, their wisdom and profound social commentary emerged. Muttered confusion had been transformed into animated participation.

Of the 60 initial participants, 20 have been trained to lead GCM. Most would have continued with me, and I chose only those youth who were not attending university. I work with “idle” youth. Some are university graduates who have been un/under-employed since graduating. These youth created a powerful skit called The Time Bomb Machine which they have used to kick start four-hour conversations with communities around Kenya.

The skit starts with a man holding a watch. The viewer quickly learns that the watch must be reset back one minute, every minute. If dropped, the watch will kill everyone. The skit shows how hard it is to do everyday tasks while tending to the watch. Every “year” or so, the watch is pawned off on someone else, until one woman refuses to take on the responsibility for the watch. A scuffle ensues and the watch is dropped. Everyone falls to the floor expecting to be dead. They don’t die.

This skit leads into an extraordinary conversation about the community’s “time bomb” ideas. Leadership is discussed. Most Kenyans are seriously fed up with the status quo of political life. They put their faith, and fate, in leaders that are self-serving. During the discussions, every community has come to the same conclusion: They are the problem; not their “leaders.” For the first time in most communities’ lives, they realize they must work together if they are going to increase their standard of living. In four hours, communities take their first steps out of victimhood. They have also learned about representative democracy. Elected leaders are hired with votes to represent the community’s agenda. The transformation is awesome.

This work to transform the mindset of poverty is the first of three stages of GCM’s community development work. We have identified two main behaviors which, if transformed, will make the biggest difference towards fulfilling lives — first, is the behavior of the culture of silence and, second, is the behavior associated with the belief that one can get something for nothing (the legacy of an aid-infused economy).

Phase One is transforming the culture of silence into Stand Up/Speak Up/Act Together. My definition of poverty is the perceived inability to create what is meaningful. “Poor” people’s thinking blinds them to resources at their very fingertips. The poor wait for someone to notice their plight and rescue them from their situation. The biggest industry, and the only one they understand, is government. Government is expected to create jobs and solve their problems. So they wait for the people “in power” and “in the know” to come to their aid. Hence, they are entrenched in waiting for something for nothing.

Phase Two replaces the behavior of waiting for something for nothing by teaching the mindset of investment. Several months ago, during a community meeting at Sofia Market, a typical “light bulb” went off. The community has vast sand pits. which are mined by local youth who are paid KS 200 (around US$3.25) per day to load sacks of sand. 5 men usually load sacks of sand that are trucked to Nairobi and sold for between KS 40,000 - 50,000 (US$655 - 820). How GCM knows the community has understood the lesson is we hear something like, “We are so stupid!” This community woke up to the cost of their poverty mentality. They realized they could take an available plot of community land and set up a sand depot where they can sell their sand at a fair price and use the proceeds to pay themselves better AND fund community development.

It takes so little to empower people once they have stepped away from the poverty mentality. The quarter-trillion dollar international development industry has a vested interest in keeping the solution to ending poverty very complicated and very costly.

Phase Three, which we are now entering, will provide capital to entrepreneurs. The first investments will be extended to entrepreneurs who will own Community Empowerment Centers. These centers will include Renewable Energy Kiosks where energy can be sold for both consumptive and productive uses. Rural communities currently rely on charcoal, wood and kerosene as their energy sources. These sources are harmful and more expensive than the micro-hydro, solar power, or bio-fuel powered generators being used to power Sustainable Energy Kiosks. UNIDO has expressed interest to partner and provide this technology.

These kiosks will also power entrepreneur-owned Digital Media Centres. These Centres will provide access to information and communication technologies; empower primary, secondary, and university education; deliver training; access financial and governmental services; enhance medical services; provide agricultural extension services; and serves as business incubators. Community Empowerment Centers will give rural communities access to the 21st Century and make it attractive and financially feasible for youth and men to remain in their communities.

This week our mission is to meet with prospective partners and governmental ministries to take the program national.